Woopdee do!!!!
I'm not in Minnesota where the high was 23!
I'm in Georgia where it got up to 53 today!!
I escaped all by myself! WoooooHoooooHooooo!!
What Do You Think?
2 months ago
Sunday, December 06, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
The Invisible Woman
My brother was telling me about this video. He sent me and I know that I am going to have to listen to on my hard days. Take a listen. Maybe she is speaking to you too.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Hap Hap Happiest Christmas.....umm, right.
Andrew could not wait any longer for me to get our tree up. He took it into his own hands. This one was an outdoor decoration. He brought it in and found yarn to decorate it with. Not bad. Not bad. I'd be fine with just this one this year. But the ever thoughtful Bug we have wants us to decorate the real tree together with DQ here. The plan wasn't for DQ to come home this weekend, but Bug said "Come on people, there has to be a way to work this out." So we did. I picked her up this morning and she is here until Monday.
I don't think we were home 10 mins and I found her with something she wasn't supposed to have and she wouldn't hand it over. Instead of handing it over, she destroyed it. This took me right back to where she was before residential. Breaking the rules and not following my requests. I told her this is lowering my trust level with her right to the bottom and I am so disappointed she's choosing to handle it this way. She started to get teary, so I added this won't change our relationship but it will affect us trusting her. Which is a major issue.
So we will have a Hap Hap Happiest Christmas tradition of sorts decorating the tree tonight. And ordering pizza. I am adding the pizza tradition.
Warning: Naughty (but appropriate) words used in clip
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Couldn't dodge the secondary disability bullet.
Kari posted http://thoughtspreserved.blogspot.com/2009/12/good-stuff.html a YouTube video by David Boulding with a link too. So I went to the link. Blogger won't let me link so here it is written the old fashioned way http://davidboulding.com/fetal_alcohol_papers.htm Out of all the papers he wrote, I was mysteriously drawn to this one: When Children Who Have FASD are Arrested: What Parents Need to Know. None of my kids have been arrested or close to it (at least I'm not aware of any instances). I was pulled to read it.
It is really good. It is something I wish I had read four years ago when DQ was just starting to educate us on what horrible parenting skills we had. Her opinion, and maybe some outsiders too.
One piece of advice sticks out to me and I wish I had done this way back when. He goes into detail how to do it and what to say to your local police dept. But briefly you should put together a 3-ring binder with your child's photo and identifying information, along with diagnosis and behaviors. Include the information on the diagnosis, school letters from teachers, psychologists, psychiatrist, medical doctors, anyone who knows your kid. Oh, the first thing to have in big bold letters is a statement about your child NOT giving up his right to silence, to call parents immediately or lawyer and have phone numbers listed.
Then take this binder into the police before anything ever happens that you should need it. Make sure they know who your kid is, including vulnerabilities. (I don't know if he said vulnerabilities, but I think that is important too) When DQ would run away we called the police. Depending on who came to our door, we got all kinds of responses our 16 yr old runaway. Some were concerned because of her diagnosis while others could not have cared less. They just saw her as a 16 yr old runner and said she'd come home when she ran out of money or her friends got sick of her. But DQ is a lot more complicated than the average 16 yr old.
I don't know if educating our local police about her would have changed anything with the way the different officers responded, but I think it would have made a difference in how things were handled when she accused us of beating her, kicking her out of the house, etc. Maybe. I don't know. It's just some information I wish I had known about.
I'm writing about it now in case there is anyone reading this who has kids that could be involved with the justice system eventually or if you know of anyone. According to Anne Streisguth, (FASD guru-just google her name) 60% of those with FASD will be in trouble with the law. This is a secondary disability of FASD.
Secondary Disabilities are not present at birth but occur as a result of the primary disabilities. I always thought because I educated myself as best as I could by reading books, attending workshops and conferences, seeking out appropriate therapists, talking to other families whose kids have FASD my kids would beat the secondary disabilities. I guess I was in La La Land with a form of "Not my kid syndrome".
I've learned that I can't stop them. I'm just more aware and hoping to lessen the severity. With one child in our family she has already experienced: mental health problems, disrupted school experiences, involvement with police, confinement (for mental health treatment), and inappropriate sexual behavior. She's experienced 5 out of 6 secondary disabilities already that Anne Striesguth describes. A great source on this is here http://www.come-over.to/FAS/fasconf.htm The sixth is alcohol/drug problems, she's experienced this but it hasn't been a problem. Yet.
I can't change anything from the past, but I can learn from it. I have another kiddo who could very easily become well known to our local police dept. Perhaps it will be from preforming the Riverdance down the street or going to strangers homes trick or treating in July, but if I have a binder ready and have talked to the police dept. already maybe it will help in how they handle him. I can only hope. And pray.
It is really good. It is something I wish I had read four years ago when DQ was just starting to educate us on what horrible parenting skills we had. Her opinion, and maybe some outsiders too.
One piece of advice sticks out to me and I wish I had done this way back when. He goes into detail how to do it and what to say to your local police dept. But briefly you should put together a 3-ring binder with your child's photo and identifying information, along with diagnosis and behaviors. Include the information on the diagnosis, school letters from teachers, psychologists, psychiatrist, medical doctors, anyone who knows your kid. Oh, the first thing to have in big bold letters is a statement about your child NOT giving up his right to silence, to call parents immediately or lawyer and have phone numbers listed.
Then take this binder into the police before anything ever happens that you should need it. Make sure they know who your kid is, including vulnerabilities. (I don't know if he said vulnerabilities, but I think that is important too) When DQ would run away we called the police. Depending on who came to our door, we got all kinds of responses our 16 yr old runaway. Some were concerned because of her diagnosis while others could not have cared less. They just saw her as a 16 yr old runner and said she'd come home when she ran out of money or her friends got sick of her. But DQ is a lot more complicated than the average 16 yr old.
I don't know if educating our local police about her would have changed anything with the way the different officers responded, but I think it would have made a difference in how things were handled when she accused us of beating her, kicking her out of the house, etc. Maybe. I don't know. It's just some information I wish I had known about.
I'm writing about it now in case there is anyone reading this who has kids that could be involved with the justice system eventually or if you know of anyone. According to Anne Streisguth, (FASD guru-just google her name) 60% of those with FASD will be in trouble with the law. This is a secondary disability of FASD.
Secondary Disabilities are not present at birth but occur as a result of the primary disabilities. I always thought because I educated myself as best as I could by reading books, attending workshops and conferences, seeking out appropriate therapists, talking to other families whose kids have FASD my kids would beat the secondary disabilities. I guess I was in La La Land with a form of "Not my kid syndrome".
I've learned that I can't stop them. I'm just more aware and hoping to lessen the severity. With one child in our family she has already experienced: mental health problems, disrupted school experiences, involvement with police, confinement (for mental health treatment), and inappropriate sexual behavior. She's experienced 5 out of 6 secondary disabilities already that Anne Striesguth describes. A great source on this is here http://www.come-over.to/FAS/fasconf.htm The sixth is alcohol/drug problems, she's experienced this but it hasn't been a problem. Yet.
I can't change anything from the past, but I can learn from it. I have another kiddo who could very easily become well known to our local police dept. Perhaps it will be from preforming the Riverdance down the street or going to strangers homes trick or treating in July, but if I have a binder ready and have talked to the police dept. already maybe it will help in how they handle him. I can only hope. And pray.
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